Are you conscious of the kind of partner you want in your life? Do you find yourself attracting the same types over and over again, only to realize that you are not thriving in your relationships?
It all starts with you. Loving yourself unconditionally, not settling for a relationship where your boundaries are crossed to the point where you no longer recognize yourself in the mirror.
I have been in a very dysfunctional relationship myself. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, being in such a sick relationship felt familiar and comforting, as strange as it may sound. My husband was an addict, and I was convinced that I could save him – that all the love I had must be able to fix him and us. In reality, I probably didn't understand what love truly was, because fundamentally, I didn't love myself. I simply hadn't learned that. My boundaries were constantly violated, and eventually, I couldn't feel myself anymore—I had lost myself. The best thing I could do was to leave, both for him and for me.
It's not random who you attract into your life because your partner is your teacher. Your partner reflects all the aspects of you that still need development. To enter into a relationship is an invitation to develop your less developed aspects—a call to work on your shadow sides, the facets you unconsciously learned to deny early in life; this is also known as shadow work.
Therefore, it's not entirely coincidental whom you attract because your partner is meant to assist you in becoming whole, and vice versa. So when you are triggered by your partner, it's an invitation to your own growth, as challenging as it may sound. You've been brought together for a reason. Perhaps you need to learn to set boundaries and love yourself? There's so much we can learn from each other when we consciously dare to take the journey.
Yes, being in a loving relationship also involves compromise, but you must not lose yourself. You deserve an equal partner—one who loves you for who you are, embraces and sees you, even when you're feeling low and vulnerable.
But how do we consciously attract a partner?
I often get this question in my practice. My experience is that when we see our partners as teachers, each partner we've had has given us a gift, whether it was good or bad. For each partner, you've had, make a list of positive and negative qualities. What was good in the relationship, and what was bad? What is the opposite of the negative qualities—the lessons you've taken with you and don't want to attract again? Then, write down all the positive qualities. Thank your previous partners for providing you with new insights that you will use to attract your perfectly divine partner.
Opening your heart comes at a cost, but it doesn't mean you have to close your heart, even if you've been hurt.
Keep your beautiful heart open and consciously attract your perfectly divine partner.
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