Most of us desperately want control. To know that we have a firm grip on the reins of our dear life.
Yes, we want control over our everyday lives - to know what will happen and to have control over our sometimes overwhelming to-do lists. We want control over our bodies, regarding calorie intake and exercise. We need to have control over our children, both those living at home and those who have moved out - what they are doing and not doing. Likewise, control over our partners, ensuring tasks like vacuuming are done well, etc. Also, control over time, as every hour, minute, and second should preferably be used optimally. We also want control and authority in our workplaces, and sometimes, our eagerness to be as perfect and dutiful as possible can tip over, risking illness, such as stress.
So why is it so crucial for us humans to have control over every aspect of our lives? And what will happen if we dare to let go of control?
Fundamentally, we must first and foremost acknowledge that we actually do not have control. While control has a small role and serves an important function for practical matters like paying bills, it mostly hinders life from unfolding as it should. Of course, we should use control to manage the practical aspects of our lives, but when control takes over, and we try to control everything and everyone around us, it is not loving, neither to ourselves nor to others.
The need for control often arises in childhood. Perhaps you grew up in a dysfunctional home, with a parent who was an addict or had an otherwise insecure childhood. Control then becomes a necessity because despite the chaos, you have a grip on life.
When we release control and lean into life with trust, we experience being held by something greater than ourselves, that everything happens for a reason, and there is a deeper meaning to what unfolds. We cannot figure everything out, so we must rely on the experience we have gained from the life we have lived so far — that everything will resolve one way or another.
Because control is essentially fear, fear of the unknown and fear of things going wrong. The opposite of fear is love. So, what would it be like to let go of control? To make room for the unknown, the unpredictable. To make room for curiosity and surprises in how life unfolds. To be curious like a child - because a child doesn't know what control is.
You will probably be amazed at what happens when you release control, such as your body finding a good balance, your children gaining more confidence to stand on their own and navigate in life, your relationship with your partner becoming more filled with love, and you coming to the realization, both at home and at work, that what you don't achieve today, you'll probably achieve tomorrow, and if not, it will most likely be okay too.
So, trust life, let go of control, surrende to love, and just "go with the flow" and see where life takes you.
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