For many people, illness or a chronic condition is a way of life. We can feel powerless because, in addition to doing everything possible to alleviate or cure what we can, we may experience powerlessness and must find acceptance.
Not all ailments are visible, making it challenging for one's social circle to understand what one is going through. Outwardly, one may appear healthy, but internally, a person may be battling either a physical or mental struggle. Not everyone may feel inclined to share their struggles, as it can be liberating not to be solely identified by the illness. In reality, one is so much more than what they are struggling with, and this is important to remember.
Personally, I have struggled with chronic migraines for about 40 years, and aside from the attacks, it has significantly impacted my quality of life. I haven't always had the energy for my family, often had to cancel various social events, and frequently faced challenges at work. Despite this, I have fought through the years with a high consumption of pain medication just to get by. I have felt powerlessness and sadness over not living life like other completely healthy individuals. And since the extent of my suffering wasn't always visible, I wasn't always met with understanding or empathy but rather a "pull yourself together" attitude or a loss of friends who didn't quite understand or couldn't handle my cancellations.
When you are close to someone battling a chronic condition, you also experience powerlessness because there is nothing you want more than for it to disappear. Witnessing a loved one suffer is incredibly difficult to navigate. You can stand up and support in every possible way, be attentive and present, and acknowledge the struggle the loved one is going through, which is good to a large extent but still not entirely enough. And how much can we really understand the battle a loved one is fighting if we haven't experienced the same struggle firsthand? We can try to approach understanding with love and presence, but truly comprehending how it feels might not be possible.
So, what can we do if we have a chronic condition or have a loved one with a chronic illness?
I believe there are only love and fear in the world. When we become entrenched in fear, suffering is intensified, and we can feel paralyzed in illness or a situation - we become victims.
We can choose to find acceptance in what is difficult and approach suffering with loving and gentle care. Perhaps there is a reason why we attract a particular illness. Maybe there is a deeper meaning to it - a lesson. It could be a lesson in loving oneself unconditionally and setting boundaries. It could be about reaching out and asking for help when life is tough - knowing that one is not alone - that there is help to be found among like-minded individuals or through therapy. Knowing that one doesn't need to fight everything alone but to let go of control and surrender.
Regardless, it seems to be about finding a way to be in life, being grateful for what is good, and facing life's challenges with love and courage.
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