When I was a little girl, I was told to pull myself together. It was considered a weakness that I was sensitive, and my vulnerability was shamed. I felt very lonely and different.
Life has taught me that this is the biggest misunderstanding. What was shamed in my childhood has turned out to be my greatest resource – to be vulnerable and sensitive. There is so much empowerment in being vulnerable and making space for what is difficult.
"You need to be strong," I was told, but in reality, being strong is about embracing all aspects of one's personality, daring to be authentic, letting your mask fall – being vulnerable and being met in vulnerability so that one can heal wounds.
We seek happiness and an idealized image in life – everything must look polished and beautiful on the surface, but what hides behind the idealized image?
Life also consists of suffering. I have experienced a lot of suffering in my life – betrayal, divorce, depression, grief, stress. These experiences, though challenging to go through, I would not be without today. They have enabled me to meet my clients in the vulnerable space with empathy and compassion because I have experienced pain in my life – they are met with resonance and understanding and do not feel alone. It is the school of life, which cannot be learned solely from psychology textbooks.
"The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable, but our wholeness – even our wholeheartedness – actually depends on the integration of all our experiences including the falls." Brené Brown
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